Its been a while since I ranted here on my blog. Mostly due to not having much to rant about… but that has changed in the past few months. Things have been moving along slowly and on some days, its actually something I like. No need to move quickly, or race anyone. No need to outdo, out perform, etc… But there is a limit. Just because you take it slow doesn’t mean time stops, as everyone knows, time stops for no man.

So here is a part of my first rant. I will keep this generalized because there is no need to stir the pot at this point. Things are sorta moving along fine, but any imbalance can throw the whole thing off and then it’s back to square one. I am not a totally creative person, and when I do come up with something, I tend to want to try it out as best I can. Granted not all of it are successes, but that’s the beauty of the whole system; eventually you will get it right and all in the world is well. But to be constricted and denied any leverage or to be molded into just one operation, that irks me a bit, and it becomes uncomfortable. When I have to put a lid on my own thoughts, I’m no better than a trained monkey trained at the art of button pushing.

Moving along, another step in the rant ladder has me up in arms about particulars in the methods some employ to perform tasks of great importance. Namely that lack of information is known, and that no accountability is required or desired to prevent errors of judgment. Simply put, if you were blind folded, nose plugged, hands tied, and mouth opened, and told to choose something solely on the name of said item, and you recognized none of the items named, would you eat it anyways? What if its poisonous? What if its bitter? What if its the sweetest candy in the world, but you’re a diabetic? Can you really make informed decisions?

Third, and this one is a big one, is the lack of respect I seem to have gotten as of late. Its not everyday someone does work for you and only does it on principle and not for any gain. I could have used the time to be more constructive in other ways, but I chose to be of service to those in need, mostly because I felt strongly about what those in need signify. Now, this doesn’t mean I’m going to go postal or anything of that nature. I realize that things happen for a reason, even if that reason isn’t made clear. But what makes it really rant worthy is that I did not want to go that route to begin with. So why does it bother me so much? Why rant about something I didn’t want to do in the first place? Because I was told I wouldn’t be allowed to, that’s why. Its one thing to tell me whether qualifications are met or not, directions in vision, or even something as low as seniority, but to be told that I simply had no chance because I would not be allowed to proceed is utter nonesense and all it does it flare up my sense of competitiveness.

I don’t like to be held back by anyone other than myself. If I don’t want to do something, it is by my own decision. To tell me that I would be denied if I attempted to proceed beyond my current status, is basically a challenge that I will make damn sure is beaten. But thats where it creates a bigger problem for me. For starters, I began with no expectations of going beyond what I was doing, but it soon became much more after some communication about reliabilty and the like. But once I finally had gotten employed, my desire to be any more than I was already had dwindled, and for the most part, I had pretty much written off any expectation to do anything about it. But then, something changed, and the opportunity presented itself. I contimplated it, and I decided that for my own sanity I would refrain from any attempts at making a change in my current state. But then the challenge was made, and that above all, made me rethink my position. I was being denied the very thing I didn’t want. But that was the problem, I was being denied.

Needless to say, I am not the happiest of people at the moment, and issues are arising that I could easily solve and have solutions for in place quickly, but because I now have an indifference on the position, I really could care less what happens at this point. I’ve made my sacrifices, and I got it thrown back at me with disdain. And its because of such behavior that I no longer have any inclination to assist where I am needed, unless I am called upon, which as the days linger, seems less likely.